- It behooves every man to remember that the work of the critic is of altogether secondary importance, and that in the end, progress is accomplished by the man who does things.
Theodore Roosevelt -- 26th president of US (1858 - 1919)
- I used to think the press were whores. I now realize that's an insult to the whores.
I live in the United States of America, the last Super Power on the
face of the Earth. Our armed forces are occupying a country
about 1/12 our size. In that 25 million people are an even
smaller group of insurgents who want to kill us. Their
neighbors want to join in. Are these clowns serious that we can't
kick their ass? What we lack is the will to defeat the enemy, not
the means. We could turn the entire Middle East into a glass
factory in about 2 hours. I suspect if we turned the military loose
this could be over in 6 months. Yeah, we'd end up killing a
bunch of people in Syria and Iran on the boarder but perhaps they
would get the message about that uranium enrichment thing.
Geeez. Surrender Monkeys! Where's my cheese plate?- We have two groups of people in this country. Those who see the world as they want it to be,
not as it is. And those who see it as it truly exists. The truth is the USA didn’t just happen by one day. It was born on a river of blood by those that believed there was something worth dying for. True, it was a river of blood but when compared to the previous oceans you gain some perspective about the truth. Have we done bad deeds? Certainly! But we have done greater deeds than any
other nation. I wish we could find a way to communicate to the left that our Country didn’t simply happen. That
there are those who would destroy us given the chance. That the
world isn't different simply because they wish it. They are all concerned about themselves
and their rights, while a small group toils to preserve us. I think us unworthy of their sacrifice.
Yeah, I know this wasn't humor, just truth.
 - The difference between Democrats and Republicans in Congress?
Democrats want all my money and will give me what they think I need
back. Republicans want most of my money and will let me think
I get to keep some of it.
- Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose. - Ronald Reagan
- The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the
government and I'm here to help. - Ronald Reagan
- The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant:
It's just that they know so much that isn't so. - Ronald Reagan
- Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was
too strong. - Ronald Reagan
- I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have
looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. -
Ronald Reagan
- The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government
but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.- Ronald
Reagan
- Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite
at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald
Reagan
- If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a
nation gone under. - Ronald Reagan
- The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is
a government program.- Ronald Reagan
- I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about
anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if
it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
- It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I
have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first. -
Ronald Reagan
- Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And
if it stops moving, subsidize it. - Ronald Reagan
- Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many
rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. -
Ronald Reagan
- No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so
formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. -
Ronald Reagan
-
American Flag: $25 ->
Gasoline: $2 ->
Cigarette Lighter: $2.50 ->
Catching yourself on fire because you are a terrorist asshole: PRICELESS
- Only The French
... "fartiste"
-
|
Peas in a pod! |
Dopey of the Seven Dwarfs |
Congressman John Murtha-D |
Love you Babe!
- Never try to teach a pig to sing. It makes the pig mad, it
wastes your time and makes you look foolish and some folks can't
tell the difference.
- Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly
icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their
honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to
Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband
checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send
an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email
address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a
heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and
fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you
are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine
was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here! - Only two defining forces have ever offered
to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul;
the other for your freedom.
- Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. -- Howard W. Newton
- You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. -- Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774) Irish Writer
- Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past. -- Tyron Edwards
 - Conservatives see the world as it is. Liberals see it as
they imagine/want it to be. Too bad they ignore the nature of
people.
- For the record I didn't see any of the movies nominated for an Oscar in 2006.
Hollywood calls me a homophobic idiot. I simply voted with my wallet.
BJ Dent
- Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. -- Henry Ford (1863-1947) American Industrialist
- Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia
Kiwi (a New Zealander) walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm
and says, "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says, "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
- It’s hard to color code intelligence. -- BJ Dent
- Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well. -- Danish proverb
- Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much. -- Erastus Wiman
- He who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king.
-- John Milton (1608-1674) English Poet
- There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. -- Beverly Sills (1929-) American Opera Singer
- Top 10 U.N. Slogans (from www.imao.us)
10. If an impotent, bloated bureaucracy can't solve it, the it's best left festering.
9. You can't spell "unethical" without U.N.
8. Genocidal dictators, beware our non-binding resolutions.
7. Bringing peace to our world (actual results may vary).
6. Tomorrow's corruption today.
5. Raising pointless squabbling to art form.
4. We take bribes so you don't have to.
3. Try our world famous cheesy fries.
2. If troubles abound, we'll be nearby doing nothing.
1. If this an emergency, please hang up and dial America. - Fun
Fact About the French (from www.imao.us)
* A Frenchman will fight viciously and without regard to his own
life if you stand between him and a white flag.
* Rumor has it that the French don't like bathing. This rumor
comes from them smelling.
* To get with modern times, they have adopted a stance of preemptive
surrender.
* During the cola wars, France was occupied by Pepsi for six months.
* The French like to sell weapons to enemies of America. But
come on - what kind of pansies use French weapons?
* The three most popular Frenchman in American history are
Lafayette, Inspector Clouseau and Pepe Le Pew.
* The Eiffel Tower was constructed so that they would have something
very tall to wave a white flag from in case of attack.
* In ancient times, primitive Frenchmen surrendered to
thunderstorms.
* The French actually have a military, though what purpose it serves
is unknown. - He is a man of sense who does not grieve for what he has not, but rejoices in what he has.
-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Greek Philosopher
- True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. -- Louis Nizer (1902-1994) American Lawyer
- Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American Bishop
- From a listener on Dr. Laura's radio program:
Sex in marriage is like brushing your teeth. You don't always
feel like it but you're always glad you did afterwards.
- Courage is grace under pressure. -- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) American Writer
- The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
-- Bernard Meltzer (1914-) American Law Professor
Survival Kit:
Mustard.....................................................check
Cheetos.....................................................check
Toilet Paper................................................check
Bud Light...................................................check
Keystone Ice................................................check
Budweiser...................................................check
Red Dog.....................................................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol..............................check
Piece of plywood or door to float your chick and booze on...check
- Courtesy is simply doing unto others what you would like them to
do unto you. -- Anonymous (was Jesus anonymous?
J )
- Great is the road I climb, but the garland offered by an easier effort is not worth the gathering.
-- Sextus Propertius (50BC-16AD) Roman Poet
-
An Unnatural Disaster: A Hurricane Exposes the Man-Made Disaster of the Welfare State
- It is a glorious achievement to master one's own temper. -- Anonymous
- Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past. -- Tyron Edwards
- Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. -- Henry Ford (1863-1947) American Industrialist
- He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger. -- Japanese proverb
- The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention. -- Duguet
- If I step on your toe, I should apologize. I should not say that I regret that you think your foot hurts.
-- Al Sharpton speaking about Vicente Fox's comment about blacks in America
- You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.
-- Malcolm Forbes (1919-1990) American Publisher
- We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. -- Norman MacFinan
- If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. -- David Viscott
- The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. -- John F. Kennedy
Would he have said the same about Social Security?
-
http://www.barry.fireflyinternet.co.uk/fun/files/pilot.htm
- Wisdom comes alone through suffering. -- Aeschylus 525-456 BC
- Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the
voice. -- Stanley Horowitz
- The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift. -- Pierre Corneille (1606-1684) French Playwright
- Virtue means doing the right thing, in relation to the right person, at the right time, to the right extent, in the right manner, and for the right purpose. Thus, to give money away is quite a simple task, but for the act to be virtuous, the donor must give to the right person, for the right purpose, in the right amount, in the right manner, and at the right time. -- Aristotle
- Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.
-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Roman Philosopher
- Read this carefully -- it isn't simply an error page!
- Adolph Eichmann-- German Nazi official who as head of the
Gestapo's Jewish section (1939-1945) was chiefly responsible for the
murder of millions of Jews during World War II. After the war he
fled to South America, was captured by the Israeli secret service
(1960), and was tried and executed in Israel.
argot - A specialized vocabulary or set of idioms used by a
particular group: thieves' argot. See Synonyms at dialect.
Ariadne and Theseus
ar·peg·gi·o - The sounding of the tones of a chord in rapid
succession rather than simultaneously.
A chord played or sung in this manner.
Dei·mos - The satellite of Mars that is second in distance from the
planet.
es·cri·toire - A writing table; a desk.
A desk with a top section for books.
fin-de-siè·cle - Of or characteristic of the last part of the 19th
century, especially with reference to its artistic climate of effete
sophistication.
In Vino Veritas - In wine there is truth.
Ru·bi·con - A limit that when passed or exceeded permits of no
return and typically results in irrevocable commitment.
Tariqat is a road, a special way one adheres to if he wants to know
Allah
- "Two brothers own 80 percent of the machines used in the United States," Heinz Kerry said. She identified both as "hard-right" Republicans.
She argued that it is "very easy to hack into the mother machines." -- Teresa Heinz Kerry
Can you really easily hack into the "mother machines"? Why does
anyone listen to what this idiot says except that she has lots of
money?
- I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
-- Confucius (Chinese Philosopher) 551-479 B.C.
- Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost part of your life.
-- Michael Leboeuf
- Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.
-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer
- Acomplishment not Recongnition.
Robert Pinsky, Poet Laureate, Reading at MPC
on Feb 7th, 2005
- The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
-- Jack London
- None will improve your lot If you yourself do not. -- Bertolt Brecht, 1933.
Please note he said this before the New Deal and the welfare state was created.
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
- Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well. -- Danish proverb
- Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much. -- Erastus Wiman
- Daddy, how was I born?
Son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on
MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother
agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to
upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months
later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:
You've Got Male!
- Time and money spent in helping men do more for themselves is far better than mere giving.
-- Henry Ford (1863-1947) American Industrialist
- A prudent man will think more important what fate has conceded to him, than what it has denied.
-- Baltasar Gracian (1601-1658) Spanish Philosopher
-
-
| 2004 Vote, County by County |
|
Colored counties are those where a candidate
has won with 100% of precincts counted |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Counties won by less than 5
percentage points |
|
|
|
|
|
Bush |
162 |
|
|
|
Kerry |
131 |
|
|
|
|
Note: County election
data is not reported for Alaska,
Source: the Associated Press, ESRI Inc. USATODAY analysis by
Paul Overberg. |
-
| 2000 Vote,
County by County |
|
In
2000, George W. Bush carried 2,439 counties to 674 for Sen.
Al Gore. Bush lost the popular vote but won the election. |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Square miles of
counties won |
|
|
|
|
|
Bush |
2,432,603 |
|
|
|
Gore |
577,029 |
|
|
| |
80.8% |
|
|
|
Population (1999) of
counties won |
|
|
|
|
|
Bush |
148,000,000 |
|
|
|
Gore |
133,000,000 |
|
|
| |
52.7% |
|
|
|
|
|
Counties won by less than 5 percentage
points |
|
|
|
|
|
Bush |
229 |
|
|
|
Gore |
175 |
|
|
|
|
Note: County election data was not
reported for Alaska, Counties in blue, indicating a vote for
Gore include Indian reservations in Montana, New Mexico and
South Dakota.
Source: the Associated Press, ESRI Inc. USATODAY analysis by
Paul Overberg. |
- True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. --
Louis Nizer (1902-1994) American Lawyer
- Courage is grace under pressure. -- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
American Writer
-
Annan: Iraq War Hasn't Made World Safer Oct 17, 11:58 AM
I have some words for you Coffee Cup. How dare you lecture us about Iraq! You bunch of thieving bastards at the UN
killed more children than the entire war. Their deaths can be directly laid at your corrupt feet. Piss on you and the entire bunch of whoring
thieves that comprise the UN. You have no will or ability to actually do good. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you can spend money on yourselves. When anything important comes up you whine,
you ring your hands but _you_ DO nothing! You can't even agree about genocide in Africa. Why should we listen to anything you say?
Hey Coffee Cup, one final comment on your "illegal" war remarks.
I guess it was "legal" for Saddam to kill thousands of his own people. I guess it was "legal"
for his Sons to run around torturing people in ways that would make a maggot vomit. You are entitled to your opinion. And I'm entitled to hold you in utter contempt!
BJ Dent 10/17/2004
- Morrisey said that while Bush didn't get preferential treatment,
not everyone was allowed into the National Guard.
"We wanted the best we could get. We never knowingly took an
unworthy individual in the units I belonged to," he said.
"You're only as good your worst individual."
This isn't the first time a reporter called Morrisey asking
whether or not Bush received preferential treatment. Shortly
after Republicans nominated Bush for president in 2000, a
reporter from Texas called Morrisey.
"That floored me.
The only people that
got preferential treatment was when Jimmy Carter pardoned those
guys that went to Canada," he said of individuals who
fled to Canada to avoid the draft during the war in Vietnam.
http://news.myway.com/top/article/id/353139|top|09-24-2004::17:51|reuters.html
- A rich man is not the man who makes the most but the man who
needs the least.
- Why are we talking about Bush's National Guard & Kerry's Vietnam records?
We are at war with an enemy that wants to either kill or convert
us. What either of these men did 30 years ago has little
bearing on what they will do as President. We need a guy
who can deal with the terrorists, not show us medals or play
with his willie.
BJ Dent 9/16/04
- A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted
him with a bright, "T-G-I-F".
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T".
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T".
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her
biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F".
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
"T-G-I-F means Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry Honey, its Thursday.'"
- I have knocked on the door of this
man's soul and found someone home, a God-fearing man with a good
heart and a spine of tempered steel. -- Senator Zell Miller,
Speech at RNC on 9/1/04
- Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other
person to die. -- Carrie Fisher
-
MENLO PARK, Calif.
-- A Shell gas station owner put up this sign
again as gas prices increase in the area. The
owner put up the sign last year when prices
climbed. (05/17/04 AP photo)
-
- I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey" She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
- A person is only as big as the
dream they dare to live. -- Unknown
- Mistakes are part of the dues
one pays for a full life. -- Sophia Loren (1934- ) Italian Actress
- We come into this world crying
while all around us are smiling. May we so live that we go out of
this world smiling while everybody around us is weeping. -- Persian
proverb
-
Pointe Du Hoc
- Posterity! You will never know
how much it cost the present generation to preserve your freedom! I
hope you will make good use of it! - letter to Abigail Adams, April
26, 1777
-- John Adams (1735-1826) Second U.S. President
-
Government has a legitimate function, but the private sector has one
too, and it is superior. In other words, people are better than
institutions. - Cal Thomas
-
Liberal Democrats care about the
homeless as much as Palestinian 'leaders" care about refugees. In
both cases, people are used as political tools to achieve the
aspirations and enhance the power of their exploiters.
- Cal Thomas
- CONFESSION
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation
ensues: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many
children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where
I had sex with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody."
- Bob Ryan called those who criticized his comment “idiots.” They
are worse. They are poisoners of the well, people so eager to dress
themselves up in robes of virtue that they will impute vice to
others in order establish their own superiority.
White men can't jump. The
politically correct can’t think.
from
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,115355,00.html
- Uncanny (or scary) isn't it?
- Jane Fonda is being
honored as one of the "100 Women of the Century." Unfortunately,
many have forgotten and still countless others have never known how
Ms. Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country but specific men
who served and sacrificed during Vietnam.
The first part of this is from an F-4E pilot. The pilot's name is
Jerry Driscoll; a River Rat. In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF Survival School was a POW in Ho Lo Prison-the "Hanoi Hilton."
Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell, cleaned, fed, and dressed
in clean PJ's, he was ordered to describe for a visiting American
"Peace Activist" the "lenient and humane treatment" he'd received.
He spat at Ms. Fonda, was clubbed, and dragged away.
During the subsequent beating, he fell forward upon the camp
Commandant's feet, which sent that officer berserk. In '78, the AF
Col. still suffered from double vision (which permanently ended his
flying days) from the Vietnamese Col.'s frenzied application of a
wooden baton.
From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the 47FW/DO
(F-4E's). He spent 6 years in the "Hilton"- the first three of which
he was "missing in action". His wife lived on faith that he was
still alive. His group, too, got the cleaned, fed, clothed routine
in preparation for a "peace delegation" visit.
They, however, had time and devised a plan to get word to the world
that they still survived. Each man secreted a tiny piece of paper,
with his SSN on it, in the palm of his hand. When paraded before Ms.
Fonda and a cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each man's hand
and asking little encouraging snippets like: "Aren't you sorry you
bombed babies?" and "Are you grateful for the humane treatment from
your benevolent captors?" Believing this HAD to be an act, they each
palmed her their sliver of paper.
She took them all without missing a beat. At the end of the line and
once the camera stopped rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the
POWs, she turned to the officer in charge and handed him the little
pile of papers. Three men died from the subsequent beatings. Col.
Carrigan was almost number four but he survived, which is the only
reason we know about her actions that day.
I was a civilian economic development advisor in Vietnam, and was
captured by the North Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in
1968, and held for over 5 years. I spent 27 months in solitary
confinement, one year in a cage in Cambodia, and one year in a
"black box" in Hanoi. My North Vietnamese captors deliberately
poisoned and murdered a female missionary, a nurse in a leprosarium
in Ban me Thuot, South Vietnam, whom I buried in the jungle near the
Cambodian border.
At one time, I was weighing approximately 90 lbs. (My normal weight
is 170 lbs.) We were Jane Fonda's "war criminals."
When Jane Fonda was in Hanoi, I was asked by the camp communist
political officer if I would be willing to meet with Jane Fonda. I
said yes, for I would like to tell her about the real treatment we
POWs received different from the treatment purported by the North
Vietnamese, and parroted by Jane Fonda, as "humane and lenient."
Because of this, I spent three days on a rocky floor on my knees
with outstretched arms with a large amount of steel placed on my
hands, and beaten with a bamboo cane till my arms dipped.
I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda for a couple of hours
after I was released. I asked her if she would be willing to debate
me on TV. She did not answer me.
This does not exemplify someone who should be honored as part of
"100 Years of Great Women." Lest we forget..."100 years of great
women" should never include a traitor whose hands are covered with
the blood of so many patriots. There are few things I have strong
visceral reactions to, but Hanoi Jane's participation in blatant
treason, is one of them.
-
From George
Carlin:
Ever wonder
about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles
of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
-
Isn¹t making a
smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a
swimming pool?
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Why do croutons
come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin
with?
- One
day Satan gained a number of new souls and by chance one of them was an
engineer. Over time the engineer complained about conditions
in Hell. His complaints falling on deaf ears, he
set to work and soon had rigged up
air conditioning, swimming pools, lounge chairs, etc. Suddenly Hell doesn’t seem so bad.
God, looking down from heaven, happens
to notice something has changed. Upon
further inspection God questions Satan about what has happened to
make Hell such a nice place. Satan replies
his engineer has been busy improving Hell. Thinking quickly, God sends St. Peter
to check the Great Book for the engineer's name.
Finding there
has been a mistake God informs Satan the engineer belongs in heaven. Satan must
return him immediately. Satan replies that he likes the engineer and he is not
so
inclined. God threatens but Satan holds firm;
the
engineer stays. This continues for some time with the same
result. Finally in frustration God tells Satan he will file
suit if the
engineer isn't returned. This makes Satan laugh as he replies, “Go
ahead and sue me but where are you are going to find a lawyer?”
- MY FAULT?
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the
balloon further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I
promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago. Can you tell me
where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You are
in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above
this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude,
and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be
an engineer!" says the balloonist.
"I am." replies the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything
you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea
what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still
lost."
The man below says "You must be a manager!"
"I am"
replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says
the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you are going.
You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep,
and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are
in the exact same position you were in before we met,
but now it is somehow my fault."
-
Why Is It?
The Princes of the Church are silent on issues of morality and virtue and
flap their gums about every political issue under the sun? What do I mean?
Godly men routinely condemn action against evil (Sadaam, Osama, etc.) yet remain
silent on the issue of "porking" young boys under their care. Is it any
wonder there is no respect given? Jesus said, "Remove the log from your
own eye, and you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's
eye." BJ Dent 12/29/03
-
Fair-Weather Friends: A Fable
12:01 AM CST on Thursday, December 11, 2003
By ROD DREHER / The Dallas Morning News
The Pentagon has barred French, German and Russian companies from competing for
$18.6 billion in contracts for the reconstruction of Iraq, saying it was acting
to protect "the essential security interests of the United States."
-- The Dallas Morning News, Dec. 10
Once upon a time, four friends shared the forest. When an evil dictator
threatened the peace and security of them all, one of the friends concluded that
the bad man had to be driven out of the forest.
"Who will help me disarm and depose this dictator?" asked the American Eagle.
"Not I !" said the French Cock.
"Not I !" said German Boar.
"Not I !" said Russian Bear.
So the Eagle moved its soldiers to the dictator's doorstep on her own.
All the animals gathered in a clearing to try to talk the dictator into doing
the right thing before it was too late.
"We've given the dictator 12 years of warnings, and he has done nothing but lie
to us, and evade his promises. We all have solid reasons to believe he has
poison weapons, and will use them against us one day if he's not stopped," the
Eagle said. "Who will help me hold him to account?"
The animals thought for a minute, and, agreeing with Little Bunny Foo-Foo, the
secretary-general of the forest, they decided to give the evil dictator "just
one more chance." They responded to the Eagle thus:
"Not I !" said the Cock.
"Not I !" said the Boar.
"Not I !" said the Bear.
So the Eagle mustered the English bulldog and other helpers, waged war on the
evil dictator and threw him out.
After the war, the Eagle and her friends then faced a difficult and dangerous
job cleaning up the mess the dictator had made.
"Who will help me put this poor country back together again?" the Eagle said.
"Not I !" said the Cock.
"Not I !" said the Boar.
"Not I !" said the Bear.
So the Eagle and her friends undertook to rebuild the poor country and help its
people on their own. It cost them substantially in the lives of their children
and the gold in their treasuries. The Eagle opened her money pouch and began
looking to hire plumbers, carpenters and the like to assist the people of this
unfortunate nation.
"Who will accept my gold to aid in rebuilding this nation?" said the Eagle.
"I will!" said the Cock.
"I will!" said the Boar.
"I will!" said the Bear.
"Fuggedaboutit!" said the Eagle. "What kind of chump do you think I am?
"When I asked you to risk your blood and treasure to fight the evil dictator who
threatened us all, you would not," the Eagle said. "When I asked you to send
your own children and gold to help the dictator's nation recover from his
misrule, you would not.
"When I most needed you, you weren't there for me. Go
whine somewhere
else."
And so, the French Cock, the German Boar and the Russian Bear were left to
ponder a most excellent lesson on the principle of risk and reward. And they
learned that day that their friend the American Eagle, when her forest allies
act like Chickens and Ostriches, is not afraid to be a hard Ass.
Editorial board member Rod Dreher (rdreher@dallasnews.com) is surprised to learn
that reading bedtime stories to his kid pays off professionally.
-
"Lost at Sea"
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic
escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions,
Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth.
This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not
the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted
out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands
with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest
brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the
gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men
considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish
had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going
Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
-
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in
Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then
sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
-
Do I really need to say anything about
this one?
-
Politicians and diapers have one
thing in common. Both should be changed regularly, and for the same reason!
-
Truman then went into a rant about
Jews: "The Jews, I find, are very, very selfish. They care not how many
Estonians, Latvians, Finns, Poles, Yugoslavs or Greeks get murdered or
mistreated as D[isplaced] P[ersons] as long as the Jews get special treatment.
Yet when they have power, physical, financial or political neither Hitler nor
Stalin has anything on them for cruelty or mistreatment to the under dog.
Put an underdog on top and it makes no
difference whether his name is Russian, Jewish, Negro, Management, Labor,
Mormon, Baptist he goes haywire. I've found very, very few who remember their
past condition when prosperity comes."
Washington Post 7/11/03
-
A Fox News spokeswoman said: "It's better to be viewed as a
foot soldier for Bush than spokeswoman for al-Qaeda."
-
-
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up
with her shit. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
-
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
-- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
-
GREAT TRUTHS
GREAT
TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that
you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you
the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
-
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Enjoy paying your taxes.
-
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone
when a local police cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the
car. The female police officer also happened to be a blonde and asked for the
blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a
while and finally said to the blonde policewoman "What does a driver's license
look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said "It's got your picture on it!" The
blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular
mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must
be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop
looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go.
And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all
this hassle."
-
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-
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Insurgent purportedly in Iraq, stopped by sniper's bullet.
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Does this even need words?
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